Anger Issues? Here’s How You Can Help.

Anger is a powerful emotion that can quickly spiral out of control, causing harm to ourselves and others. If you grew up with some prone to fits of anger, you know firsthand the damaging effects of uncontrolled anger. Over the years, I’ve learned several ways to fight this tendency, and I want to share them with you.

Image taken from Google Images.

When dealing with someone who is struggling with anger issues, try to find calm moments to talk about the problem. No good will come from trying to argue while someone is angry. And rather than proving a point, remember you are trying to convince. You aim is to brings this person to the point that he desires help.

American Association of Psychology

The following list is taken from the American Association of Pyschology website. This is what they recomend:

1. Recognize the impact of your actions on others: Even a short outburst can leave scars on others. Remember that people are more likely to remember your angry words than your kind ones.
2. Take responsibility for your actions: Admit that uncontrolled displays of anger make you look immature and unprofessional. Act like an adult who is growing and learning.
3. Identify your triggers: Understand what really pushes your buttons and make a plan to prevent anger from taking over. If you’re not prepared for the battle, you’ll lose it most of the time.
4. Evaluate the situation: Determine what’s really happening when you feel uncontrollably angry. Sometimes we’re just frustrated because things don’t go our way. At other times, we’re rightfully angry, but our response is equally harmful.
5. Take a breath and step back: When you feel an outburst coming, take a moment to breathe and collect yourself. You can also remove yourself from the situation that’s causing the anger.
6. Seek help if needed: If anger is causing problems in your life, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you understand the root causes of your anger and develop coping strategies.
7. Focus on positive behaviors: Reading about or practicing positive behaviors like kindness, forgiveness, and empathy can help you replace negative behaviors like anger.

My Personal Experience

Remember that managing anger is a journey, not a destination. It’s important to be patient and compassionate with those you help as you work on changing habits.

When someone’s default mode is anger or even frustration, there is something in their lives that is out of balance. It may end up being something totally harmless at first glanse. But whatever it is, in needs to be dealt with. In other words, I have found that frequent anger is actually a result rather than a cause.

Here are a few things that I recommend trying when dealing with someone with anger issues are:

1. Give them space to vent but not fuel to keep burning. Try to be interested in the person but don’t support their response of anger as acceptable. Try to communicate that even though they have reasons to be upset, frequent anger is NOT the best reaction.
2. When they are not angry, bring up the subject again. This time, with calm, show how a reasonable response enables more than anger. This would be a good time to ask questions. By asking questions you demonstrate interest and you can guide the conversation as well.
3. Remind them frequently that you are on their side. Help them to see that you can support them and still disagree with them. As much as you can, solidify your friendship. And at the same time, express that anger is unacceptable.

Hope this helps. Please share your experience attempting to help a friend with anger issues.